As it comes to the end of the school term and the year as a whole, it feels like a good time to reflect on what has transpired over the past year. 2023 has been rather eventful, after all.
School as a whole has worked out okay. Obviously, I completed my GCSEs this year, and I managed to get decent results with minimal effort (and consequently minimal stress), which is always a positive. A-levels so far have been relatively easy to keep up with. I'm thankful for having decided to switch to biology from physics, as my physics class was too boring to keep me engaged. An important factor in picking your A-levels does actually come down to who is going to be around, to some degree, regardless of what is typically said about ideally choosing things that you are good at and enjoy/relate to a future career. As much as I liked one of the physics teachers, and as good as my aptitude was for the subject itself, I knew that if I stayed in that class, this first term of sixth form would be a far more sinister hellscape than it already is...
On the other side of things is family/social life. To be honest, I don't think this part has gone very well at all. I've become a lot more isolated this past year; many things didn't work out. Even at home, I typically spend far more time on my laptop rather than interacting with the people around me. It's something others wish for me to improve on, but in reality, I'm not super interested in engaging with family. It's just a lot less mentally stimulating than reading things on the internet, and as an autist, it's not as though I even desire to interact with people in normal ways. Online, I am much more comfortable doing so, as I've struggled to talk to strangers and make eye contact with others throughout my life. However, even online, things have been a struggle as of late. I've always been extremely impulsive over the course of this year, and it has backfired, such that I have been exiled from more than a few communities online as of late. It is getting to the point where I feel as though having my primary means of social interaction taking place online is unsustainable. It feels like a bit of a predicament as I've not made friends in real life for years despite my efforts to rectify this issue. I've always had the propensity to say and do things that are not particularly socially acceptable (a lot of very poor taste jokes), which has been rather hard to iron out sadly.
As of this year, one thing I've tried to do is cultivate some not-so-niche interests so that I'd have a means to connect with people. I've listened to a hell of a lot of music as of late but to no avail. It turns out that most 16-year-olds aren't particularly interested in '90s hip-hop, haha. The struggle continues...
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